Film School Dropout: YouTube University Lessons

 Ladies and gentlemen, as well as intelligent bots, I'm here to tell you how I, Bigbobby, went from film school dropout to self-taught YouTube filmmaker. This epic drama has high-speed internet, voracious curiosity, cockroach-like persistence after nuclear devastation, and more blooper clips than you can throw a boom mic at. 

This tale is largely rooted in reality...well, more or less!

Act 1: Dialing Up and Dropping Out

It all started when I said goodbye to pricey film school (and the coffee shop job I accepted to pay for it) and hello to the School of YouTube (and my parents' comfortable basement sofa). Instead of pricey textbooks and confusing lectures, I curled up with my laptop and WiFi's warm embrace.

My first YouTube lesson focused on the fundamentals of cinematography. That's when I encountered the phenomenon known as 'YouTube Rabbit Hole Syndrome.' I was studying about the Rule of Thirds one minute, and the next I was watching a video about making mac and cheese with a radiator. It seemed clear at the time that discipline would be a valuable quality in my self-education path.

Act 2: Lights, Camera... What Will I Do?

Exploring the hands-on aspect of my YouTube education was an exciting journey. My early efforts to duplicate the skills I learnt resulted in...well...let's say 'strange' flicks. When someone says, "Camera shake can add an effect," they mean controlled camera shake, not holding your DSLR on a running treadmill (Lesson #1).

One of my early works was "Aliens vs. Garden Gnomes." Let's just say the performers were a little wooden (literally). They were, in fact, garden gnomes). The alien was a green sock puppet called 'Zoglog.' There was a storyline, there was tension, drama, and there was suspense! There was also three hours of inert gnome film since I neglected to push the camera's 'Stop' button (Lesson #2: Always double-check your footage).

Act 3: Escapades in Editing and the Art of 'Good Enough'

The work of editing followed. It was during these long evenings spent bent over a computer screen, guzzling gallons of coffee that I acquired the art of "Good Enough."

I spent a full week in one epic episode attempting to create a CGI explosion in my film "Backyard Battleship." After numerous hours of labour, the end result resembled a very enthusiastic glitter bomb rather than a spectacular naval explosion. Finally, I merely overdubbed it with a narration that said, "And then the ship a very impressive manner." It's all about problem resolution, people (Lesson #3).

Act 4: Premiere Night** (also known as Cringe Fest 2020)

Then came the big reveal - the premiere. I'd invited friends, family, and the neighbor's dog to the premiere of my YouTube University-produced epic masterpiece, "Epic Saga: Journey of the Lost Remote."

The tension was palpable. The crowd was captivated...or, at the very least, no one fell asleep. The humor was accidental, and the special effects would make a video game designer from the 1990s blush. The applause at the conclusion was...well, it was nice. I learnt the value of having a supporting group throughout your filmmaking experience (Lesson #4).

Act 5: The Academy Award Is Given to...

Despite the many errors,

My path from film school dropout to YouTube filmmaker was not without triumphs. After years of hard work, my short film "Sock Puppet Apocalypse" (a gripping horror-comedy about the neglected inmates of my laundry) received a prize at a local film festival! I'm still not sure whether the prize was simply a ruse to persuade me to quit creating movies, but hey, a win's a win!

Finishing Touch: YouTube University - The Real Deal

So, what's the point of my narrative, people? Regardless all the laughter, heartbreak, and scary gnome footage, I became a filmmaker. Yes, a genuine filmmaker. My instructors were anonymous online faces, my classroom was anywhere I could find WiFi, and my textbooks were strewn with Grammarly and Squarespace advertisements. However, in the end, I created films. I made something. I failed, learnt, laughed, and won. And it's all because to YouTube University.

Will I ever be as polished or technically astute as a film school graduate? Most likely not. But will I have any amusing tales to share over a few beers? You can bet I will. That deserves a toast. Welcome to YouTube University, the most strange, amazing, and completely surprising film school ever!

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